You have observed your partner and noticed some significant
changes in behavior. They are more secretive about using their phone; they are
working late or on the weekend; or they are not connecting with you like they
used to. Do you have a cheater in the house? How can you find out? There are
some old school methods and then there are some ways technology can help you
with.
Tried and True from the Past
While some of these techniques may be a little too much
cloak and dagger for you, they have worked many times in the past to catch
cheaters. And they may suit your style of operation.
1. Show up at a known location
unexpectedly and assess the situation. Drop into the baseball practice to see
if they are present. If they are not there, ask the team members about the
absence. Listen carefully. Sometimes friends are willing to share their suspicions.
Sometimes they try to cover up. If the suspected cheater is present, watch from
a distance to see if anything is going on.
2.
Check the garbage and recycling in
your home and at their work for incriminating evidence.
3.
Look through the phone bills, bank account
statements, or charge card statements for charges that are suspicious. Are
there restaurant charges that are unfamiliar?
4.
Check the odometer of the car to see
if there is extra mileage that would signal extra trips to an unknown location.
5.
Set your spouse up by planning a
trip (business or family) and then stay close to home to observe what is
happening. Use a camera to log the evidence.
Technological Solutions There are Apps for That! ???
You may want to use a technological solution for tracking behaviour
for a variety of reasons. The evidence has already been recorded. All you have
to do is locate it. It is easier to use technology, instead of a more physical
solution. You will have evidence that you can use to confront the cheater. You
are too embarrassed to go sneaking about.
1.
Everyone's phone is full of personal
information that is of a very telling nature. If you know the password, great.
If you don't see if you can learn it by watching your partner unlock the phone.
Or try some educated guesses. And then go through the phone looking for
incriminating evidence. Review recent calls for repeated numbers, review the
photos for people you don't know, look through messages and the app histories.
2.
If you can get into a computer your
partner uses look for the same things you have done on the phone - any call
history from programs like Skype and also look at History on the web
browser. Check out the photos there as well.
3.
On social media sites that are used
by the cheater look for unusual items, such as a review of a restaurant you
don't recognize and comments that don't make any sense to you, such as “Great
Game with the Red Sox, Friday night.” when you thought working late was was the
excuse.
4.
If you do not know the passwords,
take advantage of the opportunity to loan your phone to your partner in hope
that they forget to log out. Then you can use that for access to complete
searches.
5.
Installing tracking software on
phones is another possibility, once you can get into the phone. Programs such
as Contact Spy can track activity. Also you can track your spouse's cell phone
by using the GPS function.
6.
If you can get access to the
computer, you can install software that will pull up incriminating
evidence such as key loggers that track keystrokes,
7.
Make a fake idea for a dating
website to see if you can find your partner there. If you are insistent, set up
a date.
8.
Use an audio recording device in a
location where the cheater usually talks on the phone set to voice activate for
those conversation that you are not allowed to hear. Many of these
devices look like something else to make them appear to be innocuous. Put it in
the home office, workshop, kitchen or bedroom.
9.
Put a hidden GPS on the car to track
the journeys taken.
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